From Shame to Confidence: My Honest Period Journey

by Ali Belcher May 4, 2026

Edited: May 4, 2026

I was on the bathroom floor in defeat, sweating, crying, and breathing heavily because I couldn’t successfully insert a tampon. I was 23. Yes, 23. That is not a typo.

In the words of Maria from The Sound of Music, “Let’s start at the very beginning.” I started my period when I was 11. My mom had briefly explained to me that at some point I would start my period, that it would be painful, and that there would be blood. Just short, sweet, and to the point. I remember never being afraid of it, which was great, so when it did come, I was strangely excited about it. I was becoming a woman.

I told my mom, and as I had her look at it, she made the comment, “Well, this is the beginning of 40-ish years!” I was thinking, “Really??” And that was pretty much the extent of the conversation. She taught me how to use pads, and we moved on.

Check out this blog post on how to navigate talking to your daughter before her first period.

Fast forward to middle school. I had ALWAYS been a pad girl, but I was a cheerleader from four years old all the way through high school. If you’re a sports girly of any kind, you know how locker rooms can be. You find out all the heartthrob crushes, the “he said, she said” drama, and the grooming choices are very apparent, and that definitely includes period talk. I always dreaded it because we would sync up and be all weird and hormonal, and I was embarrassed to be a pad girl.

If I was ever short a pad, someone would offer me a tampon and I would think “oh no… I don’t know how to use a tampon. Play it cool, Ali, play it cool.”
“Yeah… ummm, thank you! I actually do think I have some!” I fibbed.

Fast forward to “the box” staring me in the face at home. My mom said, “Ali, you are a cheerleader. It is time you figure out how to do this. Just follow the instructions on the tampon box.” Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong.

I get to the bathroom with one leg up on the toilet seat like it suggests, around 13 years old, by myself in the house. I took off the wrapper and put it into position. Cool… no big deal… oh wait… crap… is it supposed to hurt THIS bad? Hmm, let me just sit down and chill. This is new, it’s all good.

I sit down and, oh boy, SO MUCH pain. AHH! I couldn’t stand it for more than 5 minutes, and I’m running to the bathroom to take it out. When my mom got home, I told her my experience and she was like, “Wait a minute… you took the plastic tube out, right?” My eyes got big in shock. I thought, That’s supposed to come out??

Then she started laughing, and I felt shame and embarrassment. How could I be so stupid? But also… how do I get it out? I didn’t understand the instructions, and unfortunately, instead of trying again, I always remembered the pain and never wanted to try again. I was a pad girl for life, and no one had to know.

Now we’re back to 23-year-old Ali at the beginning. But here’s the story before the bathroom trauma.

I got the honor and privilege of going to Ghana, Africa, on a mission trip, and I was THRILLED! I was talking with my team on a Zoom call, and we realized we would be starting our periods the same week. I have never been so vulnerable about how I care for myself down there. I always kept it super private because I didn’t want to be embarrassed again, especially not by women my age.

I decided to be bold (and funny). Humor is what has made me me and has helped me through a lot of life. So I said something like, “So… I’m a pad kinda girl. Am I going to regret that?” And they all gave a resounding yes, since a lot of them had been on previous trips and understood how hot it really gets.

One of the girls told me she would teach me how. SO EMBARRASSING. I kind of wanted to pass away, but I wanted to give it a good ol’ try. I am older, wiser, and I’ve got this! What could go wrong?

She showed me exactly how it works using a water bottle. I’m watching, thinking, I feel really dumb, this looks so easy. I get some tampons to try and I go for it. Long story short, I tried two or three times, and for some reason, it really triggered something inside of me. I was filled with self-hatred. I hated my anatomy. I was so disgusted. I loved being a woman, but I didn’t like to touch it at all.

I panicked and laid on the floor in the fetal position, crying. I couldn’t figure out why it was so hard. I hated the feeling altogether. It grossed me out, and I felt angry that I mentally couldn’t get past it. Such defeat came over me. I felt completely alone, like no other woman deals with this. Why is it so easy for other women and not me?

Enter Pixie.

How in the world did I end up working for a period company? I’ve been doing Customer Service for Pixie for a year now (I am now 30). I thought, Well, maybe I won’t have to use the cups and discs. Maybe I can just use Pixie Pads and period underwear. Which, of course, I can, but something inside of me has always wanted to defeat this anxiety inside of me. I want to LOVE my anatomy and be grateful for it. Women’s bodies are so incredibly beautiful, and mine is not the exception.

They sent me ALL of the Pixie products as soon as I was hired, and I was like, “Well, I have to at least try.” I went from thinking about trying to seeing the faces of our customers who have similar stories, and I thought, You know what? I’m not only going to do this for me, but also for the young girls just starting out and the women who have dealt with the same issues.

It has taken some time to get used to, and since I’m still not loving feeling around too much in there, it is still hard sometimes. But overall, I am so proud of myself for sticking with it. We provide real solutions for women all over the world, and I am proud to be a part of that.

This is a journey toward loving the body God gave me and being grateful for it. It’s still taking time to get past the “ick,” but ultimately, I am grateful for not giving up. I can now use a cup or a disc, save so much money, and, most importantly, love my body right where it’s at.

So why do I tell you all of this? I tell you this because the next time you’re having a hard time with your cup or disc, or maybe your story with your body is deeper, like mine, I want you to remember that there are young girls trying to figure it out and feeling scared, and there are women in their early 20s having panic attacks on the bathroom floor. You might think you’re all alone in this, but you aren’t.

When I say I understand how frustrating the process can be while you get used to them and try to find your correct size, I truly mean it. This is why I am in Customer Service, (and we have an amazing guarantee by the way) I have been there. Keep going. You’re right at the cusp of period freedom, and you can teach others to do the same.